" /> Art & Life of SwarDrawS: April 2007 Archives

« March 2007 | Main | May 2007 »

April 26, 2007

The brain is fuzzy again

Hmmmm, I thought I had something to say but I guess I don't. I am lacking confidence in what I do at work. I make these issues myself as I am sure they aren't based on anything. I just feel like I am lacking in something and I don't know how to fix it.

focus is what I need.

Maybe I will go look out how to achieve this. I am sure I can google something. I will blame everything on my diet and lack of exercize. But will that get me off my ass and eat better. Probably not.

There has to be something I am not thinking of. Quite honestly if I could just get off the brain sucking internet and do something else it should help. Maybe tomorrow I will go cold turkey. Nah probably not.

April 22, 2007

Wastier of Time

Right now I should start working on one of many projects I want to start but I don't. Instead I go to Flickr or update an entry here talking about wasting time.

I wonder if I will ever start or do anything with the kiwi story videos I have big plans for. I use to think, sure I will eventually get to it but now I am not so sure. I think this one that has me procrastinating on this particular project is that it isn't just starting and doing the project but doing it in a software I am not so familiar with, Motion. I was thinking the project would be perfect for me to get up to speed. Not if I am afraid of it though LOL.

On Friday after Mia canceled our lunch plans, I thought for a moment to going to Walmart to shop at lunch but then thought against it and decided to go to the forrest preserve to eat an Arby sandwich and take in some fresh air.

While there I started writing one of my favorite lists. The main one was planning out the long over due kiwi stories. I just recalled that the conclusions of those notes was for me to do the darn job in Flash and make a web version first then once I know what I want to do, then go into Motion for the video/DVD version. So there, that takes care of that excuse. Does that mean I will get to that project? That remains to be seen.

RAW's 51st birthday is on Tuesday. Where is he tonight? He is sleeping in the back of his truck in some state park. RAW has a long history of wanting to be alone on his birthday but up until he left today at 5:00 pm, he had no idea what that was or if he was going. All week he tried to figure out where he was going. Sometime today he was finally coming to the conclusion that he probably won't go anywhere that he didn't really feel like it anymore. He was/is in a good mood about it. The goofy guy couldn't make up his mind and would not commit to whether or not he was going anywhere. I told him just take off for a drive and let me know if you will be coming home or not.

He did and called a couple hours later to say he was camping. Good for him!

I think I will go and put RAW's contacts into the new cell phone I got him for his birthday now.

April 15, 2007

Lists!

I cant have enough lists (oh btw, excuse the fact that I cant make aposthrophies-or spell it- and quotes. Apparently my keyboard has lost its ability. I have been looking for an excuse to get a new keyboard, so there you have it.)

Anyway I now have a system to manage all my lists. Well no I guess I dont have a system, I just try to keep them together in a folder and take that with me so I can put new lists in there. It still remains to be seen on whether I ever refer back to these lists.

What are these lists you ask? They are ideas for photo projects or other creative projects, ideas of what I want to do with the house but mostly it is to do lists. I find if I write it down in a list, I can get it out of my head so it doesnt clutter things up. With the amount of lists I generate you would think I shouldnt have anything left in my head by now. Hey! Stop that.

Jon at work has been bringing me in new music to listen to. He first brought me The Arcade Fire and Peter Bjorn and John. Both of those are all right, nothing too exciting. The third day he brough in some Lily Allen and after the 3rd song I deemed it my favorite album and have only listened to it ever since. Seriously I listened to it all day today and I am listening to it right now, I cant get enough of it. I love it.

For Easter RAW bought me an iPenguin. It is the cutest thing on earth and I cant help but smile when I watch it dance to the Lily stuff.

This weekend is the first weekend in 3 weeks that we are staying home and you cant know how excited that makes me. I am so out of touch with the house and I am having a major spring cleaning thing going. No so much cleaning but getting rid of all the crap. Today I got rid of make up I have been hanging onto for 15 years. I dont wear makeup, what am I holding onto it for? Next I go through the dresser and get rid of the the clothes.

I cant wait until we go through Hollaces room tomorrow. What a disaster!

Today Hollace had a Girls Scout sport and dance thing. I was afraid that was going to be a disaster since she hates that kind of stuff but I guess she survived with only one melt down when she lost her balloon. It is interesting when ever she gets together with her troop, all the girls come running to her saying "kiwi girl is here!" (btw, I am using the quote button on the laptop keyboard since the main keyboard is broke) and do a group hug on her. Hollace just stands there definitely not hugging back with an odd look on her face just waiting it to pass. She doesnt get the hug thing at all. Of course at home she is all about hugging.

I wish Dorothy would hurry up and buy a new car. It is starting to drive me nuts and before RAW has a heart attack . That is all he can talk about, how frustrated he is. Every time he gets on the phone with her about it he starts yelling. She is now open to a shifter on the floor, something she previous was dead set against. It was sounding like she was going to get a PT Cruiser but she tells me tonight that she found her car today and will buy it on Monday, it is a Shivee. I am thinking Chevy? But I guess she was looking at Jeeps today so who the hell knows what she will end up with.

April 13, 2007

This week found me....

driving in the middle of an April snow storm.

I am a winter weather weenie. When the forecast calls for snow, I arrange to work at home. I am much more productive when I am not worrying about driving home. Still I fret about working from home. I know the boss doesnt really like it but expects it from me. I am afraid I will get resentment from my co-workers who braved the elements to get to work while I don't. Also sometimes there are a few things that I need to be in the office to take care of and I am always afraid that will be the time and someone will be pissed and revoke my snow day work arrangements.

Wednesday they called for 5" of snow. I am prepared. Yet I felt espeically brave and decided to go into work even though I know it will be worse later in the day. It really was a recipe for a work at home day but I ignored it.

The drive in isnt too bad. We had a couple inches at this time. My co-workers who come in an hour after me report that it was bad for them but mainly because of the wind knocking out traffic lights and just the increase of cars on the road and not so much because the snow got worse.

I was swampped at work, especially that day. It was a job for the big boss so I couldnt screw up or chance working at home when they really needed face time with me.

It looked like a blizzard out there, just nasty nasty non-April like weather.

Around 1:00 I couldnt take it anymore, I had to go home. With the project I was working on, I was looking at putting some overtime hours and I would rather be in the safety of my own home for any overtime anyway.

So I email the boss and co-workers and leave.

The roads are horrible. My anti-lock breaks sure got a workout. Because of the wind, the snow was horizontal and covered all the traffic lights. I couldnt tell if the light was red or green. Because I left when I did, there wasnt much traffic thankfully because at one of those intersections I couldnt tell if it was red or green, even thought I slowed to a crawl, I couldnt stop the car once I realized that light was red. I did manage to stop a hair before it was too late. I swear I had that brake petal through the floor.

There was one multi car pile up going the other direction but I did eventually get home. It took me an hour when a normal commute during that time is under 30 minutes.

RAW mentions he thinks we had 2" of snow but I nearly bit his head off. That was no 2" of snow. When all and said was done, it was more like 5" but it was hard to tell because of the blowing and the melting.

At around 5:00 I notice all the roads are now clear! It warmed up enough that if I would of stayed at work until my normal time, the roads would of been fine. I apparently drove home at the worst possible time. Just my freaking luck. Next time remind me again that I am a winter weather weanie, please.

April 07, 2007

Fat momma

At my mother-in-laws tonight. We were watching a movie on Lifetime called "Fat Like Me" where this athletic high-school girl is doing a documentary wearing a fat suit to try and prove that if you have a great personality, being fat should be no excuse for anything.

Well of course she found out immediately how mean people were when you are fat. It was exaggerated for the most part with people passing by with utter looks of disgust.

Anyway, the part that got me thinking was the relationship this girl had with her mom. Apparently her mom at one time, was really obese and got sick. She then lost 80 lbs and was at a more normal weight. The daughter was very angry at her mom and was ashamed that her mom ever got like that and made herself sick because of her weight. That story line was a bit exaggerated as well but it did make me wonder what Hollace might think some day of her obese mom.

And I am now starting to worry about my health. Last time I was this big I was very healthy but I don't feel so much so this time around. I am a bit of a hypercondriac especially over diabetes and breast cancer. Neither of those fears so far has done anything to help me change my habits. I am not sure what is it going to take. It is like I keep forgetting I have a problem or only remember after I ate the wrong foods. Several months ago I made this inspiration card that I was hoping I would meditate on every morning to help drill it in my head, I never look at the card.

What do I need to do to get it in my head?

April 03, 2007

Today

Today was mine and RAW's 14th anniversary. It was pretty much a normal day.

This morning I left the house feeling a little bare but didn't realize until I was almost at work that forgot my purse. Dang. I left the house with my keys and a piece of paper. I knew something was amiss but I thought it was because I decided to leave the camera at home.

Dorothy, when she was here, bought some purse hooks so you can hang your purse under the table of restraurants. She gave me one and I hung my purse under the counter where I couldn't see it this morning.

Since I am an early bird at work, it can be a challenge to get in my building without a badge. I noticed Andy's car in the parking lot which means he is in early so I call him from the lobby and he lets me in.

My lunch time plans today including going out shopping for running shoes (don't worry, I am not going to be a runner, it is what the podiatrist recommends) but obviously I am not going to be doing that. Then I thought I would maybe go out to the parking lot and clean out my car but then I remembered what a pain it was to get back in the building.

I went to get my ipod for a little music and instantly missed my purse. Rob was making a taco run and I almost took him up on the offer since I was stuck in for lunch when I remembered, no wallet. On the ride home I got to Hunt Club Road where I usually take out a Tootsie Pop, nope I had to go without.

I thought for sure I would get stopped by a cop since I didn't have my license but the ride was uneventful.

--------------

Tonight was my second yoga class. I didn't want to go but I did. It was alright.

I got to see if I can add a few features into my photoblog. It has been over 2 years since I played with the templates. I think I am too rusty. I am not sure why to put in the effort because I doubt anyone even looks at my photoblog. Well I guess 7 or 8 people a day do.