Art & Life of SwarDrawS

You would think for how as old I am, I would be so over making resolutions but I guess I am a sucker for disappointment because I still look forward to making them.

I guess why is because I don't go into them thinking I am going to break them. I always feel a sense of promise like I am going to do it this year.

That said, I will now forget I even said the disappointment word and go back to my optimistic ways.

2008

Resolution #1

I got to lose all that weight. Seriously. It is time for a mind change. I better stop right here and pick up that self hypnosis book right now.

I was visiting Cindy and her clan this weekend. 4 year old Mac told me I have a big butt. So true. The day before he mentioned my fat tummy. You sure can't beat the honesty of a 4 year old. The last time I was that fat and got that honesty was right before I got pregnant with Hollace in 98 when a 6 year old Read asked me why I was so fat.

Really why? Lets not give these bluntly honest kids a reason to be honest like that.

Ok, I can say I need to lose 100 lbs in 08 but what am I going to do about it to make it reality. I know all the things I need to do but how can I make it work? It really is all in my mind. My health insurance company has a health coach that will call you once a week. I was getting ready to call them to set that up when they called me. They scheduled the first call for Jan 8th.

I will read all those Spark People emails I get by spending a chunk of time every night doing so. Maybe get a subscription of Prevention magazine or something and reading it. I have been carrying around an old Prevention magazine in my book bag for over a year and have yet to read it. I just really need to put my mind on it.

Resolution #2

Be more creative. I would like to call myself an artist and while most of you already think I am, I feel like a fake in that department. Yes, I take lots of pictures but I need more control over my imagery. I need to start planning out what I want to visually achieve, put my soul in there. I have been going low-tech with my art which is a nice step with my film based toy cameras and medium format Rolleiflex. So much fun. Next will be developing my own film and getting back into painting. I got a painting kit and I still owe mom the painting I promised her 18 years ago. After I Monet-out for her, I really want to meld my photography with the painting for something unique.

Resolution #3

Lose the fear. Really I got to quit fearing life and start living it. Because of all the changes at work, they gave us the book "Who Moved my Cheese" I started reading it today and one quote really grabbed me..."What would you be doing if you weren't afraid" or something like that. My whole world would open up if I could get past the fear.

Resolution #4

Get a handle on time. I don't know what the deal is but I am ultra aware of the passing of time. On the weekends I am constantly aware of the time and that the weekend is almost over that I don't do anything with it. I have so much free time and can't seem to maximize it to its fullest. There is so much I want to do then realize I just wasted it all on the internet. I am a master of to do lists but never go back to them after I write them. I want to take up reading for pleasure; developing my own film, then scanning it--so much more slower than just shooting digital in the first place; painting; quality time with Hollace; exercise--ok, I don't want to do that yet but I have to; get a NetFlicks account and start watch movies.....STOP! Where is the time to do all of that on top of the general house stuff and family stuff. For some reason I keep adding to my list instead of simplifying. I got to work this out in 2008.

I guess for starters, go to bed earlier so I don't sleep until 10am on weekends. So on that thought I bid you a good night

Posted by swardraws at 12:37 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)

nothing much I guess. Just getting ready for the holidays. Today was a freakishly windy day with gusts of 60mph and coooold. Yesterday was a freakishly warm and foggy day. The temp was 52 and so foggy that is smelled and worried me just going out to the mailbox that a car wouldn't see me.

Enough of the weather. I thought I had something to say but I can't remember it. I got my iPhone-ish phone a couple weeks ago. That was cool but not really noteworthy.

Last weekend we went to Fort Wayne for our Christmas thing but the weather threatened with a big winter storm for traveling day Sunday so we cut out Saturday evening right before the party. It was tough but driving home in a foot of snow with heavy winds to blow it all around wasn't my idea of fun. It wasn't that fun when we left either but it was only a couple inches at that time.

Last week the rest of art department moved out of J28. Now I sit in the basement under the cafeteria. Lots of crabby video guys who really had to squeeze in. I got my space all tweeked out and feeling like home....sorta. Oh well everyone will adapt. I am off until the 2nd--practically a week and a half---woo hoo!

Posted by swardraws at 11:59 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

Every now and then I google "swardraws" to see what comes up. Everyone does it. Well maybe they don't google swardraws but you know what I mean.

Tonight I ran into a cute little tidbit from 2000. It was my web site's gossip page and it was what was new with 15 month old Hollace. Here is an excerp:

Dizzy Box Sitter

My silly girl likes to get dizzy. She will all of a sudden start walking in circles just for the effect. She then tried to walk which looks like a drunken sailor. Too funny. The bigger issue at hand is her obsession to sit in a box. I don't know if this is a thing with all babies but Hollace can't let a box sit empty. She use to empty a place out in her toy box, climb in (usually backwards) then bring the stuff she ditched back in on top of her. Now she doesn't care, she will get in a full toy box. Tonight she kept trying to pack herself away in her little suitcase. She just sits there looking for things to bring inside the box (or suitcase) with her.

I sort of remember the Dizzy Box Sitter title and her actually getting herself dizzy. What I don't remember is the last part about her emptying her toy box, getting inside and putting her toys back in. Or her packing herself away in a suitcase.

She sure is growing up fast.

Last night Sherry called. Her family is being mean to her. I hope Hollace never gets that hateful and mean. I really can't see that happening, totally different dynamic going on there, but you never really know.

Posted by swardraws at 12:15 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)

Last March a house down the street burned down. Yesterday another house burned down and tried to take two others with it. This time it was a house right on the beach. I guess the guy whose house went down was working on a RV in his driveway. He left it unattended and it went up in flames which then torched the house. It was pretty intense. I still can't picture which houses went up either through the pictures in the newspaper or ones RAW took. He was even quoted in the paper. I think he was embarrassed about it though because the ladies at the bus stop were giving him a hard time about it. Maybe tomorrow I will go down there and check it out.

Ever have one of those days where something simple just won't work out right? That was my problem today with Bart's job. I just needed to rerender some movies and swap them out, no big deal. I had all the other changes done by 10:30 this morning but those darn movies just weren't working out. For some reason the audio kept going on past the outpoint of the video. At 4, my normal quitting time we still didn't get it figured out. I had to leave because my computer actually left. They are reformatting it since I am off on Monday. Thankfully Holly was able to try and get those movies re-edited and rerendered. When I got home I logged onto email because I forgot to put my out of office message on for Monday. There was a nice note from the project manager to my manager thanking me for the hard work and mentioning that Holly said she could get the fixed videos in by Monday. I hope she didn't have to stay late but I know those darn videos take hours to render.

I feel like I am drowning in stuff. Most namely paper stuff. I need to ditch it all and be done with it.

I better go to bed. Good night

Posted by swardraws at 12:54 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)