Actually this week started out with an all day training on communication. I was feeling less stress about that than I was over the animation job I mentioned in my last post.

In this class I found out nothing new. I am a introvert but so seems most of CN. It was basically divided up in 4 quandrants, Extrovert/Thinker, Extrovert/Feeler, Introvert/Feeler (me) and Introvert/Thinker. I had a goodly amount of Introvert/Thinker in me too. My boss had the same score as me as well.

They reassigned the seats by your "color" and I was next to Dan (which I often felt was very similar to me in temperment). On the other side was Jim, the guy who shares the same start day with me. I was a little surprised cause I would figure he was an extrovert. Then there was Tim next to him which was really a surprise, I would call him a Extrovert/Thinker (opposite on the wheel). Later he told me he just filled in the answers with no regard to what they said. That explains things. He said he was cheating the system, yeah right ;-)

The class was alright and not too painful. Each of our 4 main team members all fell in each of the quadrants which I found interesting.

Anyway, on Tuesday, I nervously await word on what Rebecca thought of my fretted on animation. She loved it and had only minor changes. Phew.

By the end of the week I started to feel that anxious dread. On Friday however I started singing la-la-la in my head to drown out the self doubt and move past it. It seemed to work. That day I had to put on my creative hat and design something wonderful. I hemmed and hawed and procrastinated but as soon as I finally got started, it started to flow. Whether or not anyone else likes it, I don't care. Don't you like the turn around? ;-)

It is cold out. Zero degrees when I last looked. I never got out of my bathrobe, hunkering down. Hollace was sick with a sore throat and fever on Thursday and Friday but is fine now. I just made her write a note to Haley in Tennessee and you would of thought I was asking her to poke her eyes out with a fork. Oh the torture.

I couldn't eat breakfast in the mornings over it. I felt the same way I did after 9-11. My stomach in a knot and no appetite. I can only explain it as chemical, I went out of whack. Now I am not out of the woods yet. I will probably find out on Tuesday that it sucks and that I suck. On Monday I am in training all day which is an anxiety attack in itself. The training is on communication. Jon who went on Friday said it was kind of intersting with only one role playing (what I am most anxious over).

On Thursday I was ready to throw in the towel on what I can cope on. I was stressing over the animation already when one of the big jobs I thought I put to bed was giving me grief and I was just not in the mood to troubleshoot it for Christine again so we had a long period on the phone of silence while she waited for me to say I would figure it out for her again.

Also during that day another bigger issue arose and it had nothing to do with my job.

Apparently RAW ran into the social worker at school. They have concerns with Hollace. They think it might be Asperger Syndrome, a form of autism. What!

I knew Hollace could use some help socializing. Especially with me as a her mother I often thought she was doomed in that department. I seen her struggling with the same things I did and still do.

At first I thought they were off base on that theory. Then I did a little research.

"The most distinguishing symptom of AS is a childâs obsessive interest in a single object or topic to the exclusion of any other." Can anyone say KIWI? That one was nailed. Lets see what else...sensory sensitivity. She won't wear jeans because they aren't confortable (a kid in her class already asked me why she never wears jeans.) That might also explain why she throws up over lumpy food. This week she complained that Brownies are to loud and the new lighted clock I got hurts her eyes. They typically are clumsy. They don't want to be bothered by anything that isn't in their interst (like I always said, Hollace can't be bothered by school)

With Hollace she is the sweetest, most loving child there could be...around us. I just read that could be a sign too. Dang. "...sometimes, the opposite problem occurs; the person with AS is unusually affectionate to significant others"

Around others I get the sense she seems a bit unpleasant. We went to Brownies this week. When we walked in a couple girls excitedly yelled Hollace!. Hollace just said a little unenthusiastic hi.

There were quite a few things on the list that Hollace exhibed. By the time I finished my quick research I was convinced that was my problem too. I often thought I was socially retarded not having a clue on how to be easy breezy like I desired. I called it shyness and it is and really that is all it could be in both of our cases.

Whether or not they label Hollace, it opens the door to get her some help which I have been wanting to do. I think she just needs "tools" on how to act or what to do in situations. Heck I need that but I really need to get her working on it ASAP before she gets branded the weird kid if it isn't already too late.

Another thing the social worker mentioned was there was this boy who was making fun of her bangs and she got angry and told him she would kill him. I have never ever heard her talk like that. They, knowing Hollace didn't take the threat seriously and didn't report it.

A meeting will be set up (soon I hope) and they will test her. We can go from there.

The computer got fixed, it was the logic board. I should get the reimbursement check from Visa next week. They approved it and said the check is in the mail.

After signing up for the new Brownie troop in November, I promptly forgot about it. Last week I called and took Hollace to her first official meeting. It was the special day when the Brownies got iniated. Hollace was up there with the rest of the girls but had no clue what was going on. The 4 meetings we missed, they all practiced. She survived.

This Thursday I was the volunteer mother. I had to help the girls sew their sit-upons. We are in the middle of Girl Scout cookie selling. The goal is 100 boxes and normally we wouldn't stress about it but Hollace wants the incentive gift for selling 100 which a Build a Bear bunny. I think we need to sell 7 more before the 29th.

It must be close to that time of the month where I am a bit fretful and paranoid. No real reason why, I just am.

I NEED TO FOCUS! The internet is evil.

I haven't taken any new photos lately but bought a nice messenger bag to casually carry my camera. I bought a wireless remote with some money Ann sent me for taking pictures of her daughter so I can play with self portraits.

I lost 5 lbs over the holiday. That normally doesn't happen. RAW lost 10 lbs. Cloudy gained some. Chubby little cat is Glamour Cat of the month at some cat group at Flickr. I got to pick the next 5 nominees.

Cutiepie the beta fish finally died around the time people were ringing in the new year. Hollace has been upset.

Fifteen minutes before the new year, I bumped my cool hologram watch on the wall and it stopped. Fortunately the internet place I got it fixed it. I got it back yesterday. Two other clocks died around the same time which made me wonder what kind omen that was.

Buying Littlest Pet Shops are frustrating. Apparently they are collectables and hard to find and Hollace wants them all for her birthday.

Trying to plan Hollace's birthday. She has been collecting phone numbers at school. Now someone has to call and get addresses.

I went on an internet spending spree. Got another Elliott Smith album (XO) and love it. There is only one more left to buy.

On News Years Day, I started and finished and crossed off my resolution list, organizing my paperwork. I bought a small file cabinet and filled it up. That felt good.

Oh good night

Yesterday I finally took the computer into the Apple store to get fixed. The credit card company should reimburse me for the $300 charge to fix it. I felt bad for the lady I was sitting next to and talking to at the Genius bar. The "genius" she got had no clue and no real troubleshooting skills. I wanted to jump behind the counter and help her LOL. I think she had a faulty modem or it could of been the adapter she was using (she still connects on with a 56k). Actually there were a couple things I would of tried to troubleshoot. I didn't have to worry about how adept my genius was because I knew my problem was beyond them. I just needed them to get it set up to send in. I should get it back in a week.

Christmas was nice. Poor RAW out did himself ad spent more money on my then he intended. Of course he has to keep mentioning it. Not in a mean way but in a disbelief kind of way. He got a Lensbaby 3.0 for my camera. I actually had one on order to buy myself but then he mentioned that he was looking at them I canceled it. He actually got me a version 1 but they have come a long way and it was hard to use. Unfortunately for him the version 3 was also 3xs the cost. It was backordered but ended up coming in time for Christmas. He also got me a nice knife set and 3 laser levels. I had asked for that so he got me three different types to make sure LOL.

I got him the alcoholic theme package. He has been into wine so I got him some wine glasses and opener kit. Then I got him a beer making kit. Of course in the meantime he gets diagnosed pre-diabetic.

Hollace got her iPod (allbeit a reconditioned Mini) and a iFish, lots of Littlest Petshops and a couple of beanie baby kiwi. She pretty much got everything on her list.

The day after Christmas we went to mom and dads. Pam was there as she just passed her kids to her inlaws for the week so I got to hang out with her a bit. Her family was here the weekend before. I had a little surprise birthday party to celebrate her 40th birthday.

Tomorrow Cindy and her family come for a visit.

Last weekend RAW broke the thermostat off of the oven. It looks like a new oven is in our future. Unfortunately replacing it will be more like a major kitchen remodel. I really wasn't planning on doing that right now but I guess we don't have a choice unless we expect to bake everything in our toaster oven!

I called Visa and they opened up a claim to pay for the repair but when can I get it done? I want to go up to the Apple store with it now but with the holidays it will probably take longer to fix. After the holidays, all the people who got new Macs or iPods will be clogging up the system.

In the meantime I plug away on the old machine and I feel lifeless as far as my online life goes. It is too much a pain to upload to Flickr. Actually not really, I just don't feel like it. I still upload my daily photoblog but I am digging into my old reserve images.

I haven't really been picking up or taking the camera with me lately either. I guess I need a break from all of my obsessions and enjoy the holiday season but I am not in the mood.

Swamped at work lately. I was hoping that after the rush of the end of year billing last Friday (everyone tries to get their project in before that deadline) I could relax but no, I am booked solid until after January 8th.

Today was the holiday thank you lunch for one of the commitees I am on. I sat next to the big boss and had a nice chat. It was a nice lunch even though I wasn't impressed with the food. I am not really into Italian food. I tried to avoid a tomato based dish so I ordered Chicken Marsala. Blah and now tonight I haven't been feeling 100%.

Tonight RAW's cousin Darrell and Deb came by. No one on that side of the family has ever came to visit us all the way over here. Darrell is trying for a new job that is in Kanas but first he had to have a 4 hour psych test in Milwaukee. Deb came with him and with her 9 month old niece's daughter. It was nice entertaining the little girl during the visit. I never picked up the camera and as you know I usually seek out babies to shoot.

I got to go wrap some gifts now so I am saying good night. Pam and family come out on Saturday. She turns 40 on Christmas so I got to plan a little b'day party for her visit. Today is Sherry's birthday.

I got her to agree to have me retake it

See now, was that so bad girly?

While taking that picture I realized that that wall is perfect for taking portraits. Well if it wasn't yellow maybe it would be better. It was a bitch to get all the yellow out of the skin tones. I supose if I didn't rely on auto white balance it would help. Anyway, I had this idea on how to turn my living room into a portrait studio without really messing up my living room. I will put up a fancy black curtain rod up and use different curtains for backdrops. My big paper floor lamp is perfect for light as well as the big picture window behind me. I am excited. Lets get started!

I took heed to the weather reports of substantial snow for Thursday night and got ready for a little work at home. The boss is against work at home as I am finding out but knows I am a winter weather driving weenie and actually emailed me first assuming I was going work at home today. Yep

From what I gather a lot of employees called in today and the others told stories of whoa trying to get in to work. Before I left work yesterday, I forwarded my phone to my cell and this morning I got a call from Lisa C asking how the roads were. I wouldn't know. I forgot that she called work and I was picking up a forwarded call LOL.

Hollace of course had a snow day too. We all hunkered down with both me and Hollace staying in jammies all day. Actually I got dressed at 4:30 just so I could go to the mailbox. I thought those guys don't let weather stop them from delivering mail. My box was empty.

Earlier this week I was contemplating getting a new computer. For the last few weeks my display has been going all wonky. A restart and all would be well. That wasn't the case however on Tuesday when it went bad and wouldn't clear up. I took a picture of the screen
and processed it, posted it and asked a question on one of the forum on Flickr sorta blind. The consensus was "what a great time to buy a new machine!" Ack, I don't want a new machine. This one wasn't even 2 years old yet and while I have some $$$ coming, I had it earmarked.

I took the machine to work for some diagnosics but the darn thing was working beautifully. I was talking about the prospect of getting a new machine when Sherry called. Would ya know she was calling because she was refinancing her house and would be able to pay back the money I loaned her much earlier than expected. And wouldn't ya know it that what she owes me is almost exacly how much a new laptop would cost. Fate there won't ya say?

Because I paid for this computer with my credit card which has waranty service that doubles the waranty, I should be able to get them to pay for a fix so hopefully I can hold off buying a new machine for a while.

Of course this is the worst time of year for it to go down or out to fix since I am hot and heavy in Christmas photocrafts. I just got this years calendar done. Now for some marble magnets and the Christmas card

I got up early for a Saturday (before 9) I had a little time to myself before Hollace woke up. Then I got productive cleaning out under Hollace's bed. I want to make a cozy cool spot under there. I put these little Ikea lamps in there. While I was trying to consolidate boxes to put some of Hollace's Barbie stuff in there, I finally found my Dick Van Dyke 2nd season DVD box set (that has been bugging me for awhile).

Me and Hollace went to Artworks for awhile. I sat down and worked out my idea for this years Christmas card. While doing that and talking to Diana, Sherry calls. While talking to her my idea pops in my head.

Then Ann calls, it is time to go to her house to photograph Maddie who now refreshed from her nap.

What a gorgeous, adorable 15 month old. I took 150 photos.

After we get home, Sherry calls again. I don't know about her. She was calling me while she was driving back and forth to check out this vacaion timeshare. She was going for the promised free vacation. Of course in the second call she said she bought into it (and signed her soul to the devil no doubt). I don't know how she can keep bleed money out of a stone.

Tomorrow we plan on going out to see Happy Feet and I got to get out to Target for groceries.

I just purchased $189 worth of music!

Last night at the time I noticed that it said I had 209 downloads. I freaked knowing what that meant so I found the download manager and got them to stop and then deleted them. I get the Ditty Bops and 6 Jamiroquai songs downloaded before I realized the problem. Phew, that could be bad.

This morning I put on the Ditty Bops on the iPod and the third song has a glich and stops after 30 seconds. I go to iTunes to check into getting it fixed when I start those darn downloads again.

Just stopping and deleting them from the downloads isn't enough, damage was done and complete the moment I hit Buy All, it was just a matter on when I was going to download them. Oh shit, $189 on iTunes!

At that moment of realization, Hollace just woke up and came into the room. Sorry honey, I can't talk right now. I got to find the contact info to get this charge taken off. I don't want those songs!

I finally find something and explain the situation. A few hours later I get an email saying that they will credit my account for the one song (99 cents). I immediately right back with this:

No, no, no! Not one song, $189 worth of songs! All I was trying to
buy was the Ditty Bops album and I accidentally hit buy all instead
of buy album. I know I should of cleaned out my shopping cart and not
had them in there if I didn't intend to buy them but I didn't.
Please, don't make me spend $189 for music I didn't want (and didn't
download yet)

It was bumming my evening out thinking that I might have to eat $189.

I then get this email:

I'd be happy to help refund you for this purchase. I understand these things can happen, so I have reversed the charge for the accidental purchase. You will see a credit of the remaining $188.25 in three to five business days. Please note that the iTunes Store Terms of Sale state that all sales are final, so this is a one-time exception.

I hope this helps. Thanks for being an iTunes customer. I hope you have a very wonderful weekend!

Phew! My only qustion is now that they are going to credit my credit card, does that mean those songs are still waiting for me to download anyway? I am afraid to go and check it out. Actually my question is why 188.25. If everything ends in 99 cents, how do you get 25 cents?

All us moms sat at the kitchen table and filled out paper work. The leader and co-leader were as chatty as their girls. You would of thought they had been friends for years but only met each other 3 weeks ago. I am still trying to figure out what the co-leader was saying when she said her dad lived in a room on one end of the house and her father-in-law on the other and the two never talk. What was weirder then that was I swore she said one was 50 and the other 53. I had to ask her again and again, huh. RAW is 50. What is the matter with these guys. I seen them, they seemed old. I must be mistaken about their age.

There was this other woman there who seemed very serious and to the point and hardly smiled. I found out later that she is a working photographer for the local paper, both of us has the Canon 20d, is the same age as me, her husband works where I do and she gave birth to her third kid in the ambulance (I almost did). She seemed so much more friendlier once we realized all of this. Everyone was nice. At one point during the evening they were trying to convince me to have another kid LOL.

The meeting was from 6-7. We finally left at 8:15

Onto a quick change of topic. Somehow I discovered that the Ditty Bops had a new album come out in May. The one I had is one of my favorite albums and was even thinking the other day when they should put something else out. I guess it has been nearly 2 years since I got the other one. It didn't occur to me then that they should have something out. I accidentally found out they did put something out and didn't hesitate to download it from iTunes. In my haste however I clicked buy everything in my shopping cart as opposed to just that album. $182 worth of music I never intended to buy but almost did at one time. Thank god for iTunes latest softare because I was able to stop and delete all of it before it was too late. I did incur $4 worth of Jamiroqua music. Because of that stunt, my cart is now cleaned out so I won't be doing that again soon. And btw, I am loving the Ditty Bops new album

I stop at Target on the way to school to pick up 2 personal pan pizzas for lunch. But before that I try to hit the ATM since it was payday and I had $3 in my wallet. No such luck, the ATM, the one that doesn't charge me (I won't go to one that will charge me) doesn't work. I pay for the pizzas with my debit card and rush off to school.

I get there for recess. It is cold and windy. I see Hollace running around with a girl and a boy. She doesn't see me. Eventually she runs by me and gives me a hug. Her friend is a cat and the boy that is running with them is trying to get the cat. Hollace is trying to protect the cat. While I stand there (a couple other parents are hanging around too) one boy comes up to me to ask why Hollace never wears jeans. Ok, interesting question. She doesn't like them. Then another boy comes up to tell me that Hollace is obsessed with kiwis. I say "yep, you think so?"

We finally get to come in. Hollace's best friend the cat, sits on the end then Hollace then me. Across from us are 4 boys. One boy tells me that he had a heart murmur, another tells me when he was in his mommy's tummy he had the cord wrapped around his neck. And that he remembers it. A third boy tells me that his brother died when he was a baby. Ok, nice guys. Another boy seems shocked that Hollace doesn't appear to eat her crust on the her pizza. I tell him hold one she saves it for last. All in all it was a fun lunch but now it is time to get back to class and me back to work where I get productive after all on the day 14 years later I start.

I told the boss the situation with lunch and ask him if I could either take a long lunch or work the afternoon from home. He said the long lunch would be fine. Dang, I was of course hoping to avoid all the driving back and forth.

Before I left for lunch I decided to try and call AT&T to fix the long distance service plan I never ordered and get refunded for the 3 months they have been sucking money out of my account.

I call the first lady, she told me she could cancel the plan but I had to call someone else for the refund which would only be for the last month not all 3. Then call the auto payment department and get that canceled. Then finally call the department that cancels long distance service.

She goes ahead and transfers me to the refund department. I am on hold for a long time then a guy who didn't know anything comes on. He asks if I want all 3 months refunded. Ah, of course. Then he looks it up and said he can only take off October (btw, we are talking about $5.96 a month, no major money but still...). He then asks if I want to talk to his supervisor to see if he can get it all taken care of. Sure put him on. I wait on hold again then John the supervisor comes on. Nope, he can't do anything about it. Oh so helpful that was. I decide to take the $6 for October and drop it.

On to the next call, the auto payment cancelation department. First after I go around in a circle with their push 4 for this, push 3 for that, I finally am able to hit zero to get a live person. This lady is nice and she cancels the auto bill pay stuff. She can't however tell me how long it takes before it goes into effect. Could be 4-6 weeks like it is for business customers. She then transfers me to my last call, service disconnection.

That lady explains that I don't really want to disconnect long distance because any long distance carrier can grab my call if I accidentally try to call LD and charge me anything. Instead she tells me of a plan that cost $1 a month and it is 7 cents per minute. Right now I am paying 16 cents a minute (and apparently $6 a month which is why I am calling). Ok, sign me up for that, whatever.

She then tells me that I can get my DSL upgraded to double speed at $10 less a month then I am already paying. Hold the phone! Lately with all the video youtube stuff I have been complaining to no one in particcular that my DSL is too slow. Actually last night I was complaining to Paula about it. I have been trying to figure out how I can get it boosted and maybe even pay more to do it but I thought I was stuck at this slow speed based on what they told me 3 years ago when I got it.

All the AT&T phone hell has been worth it if indeed my DSL doubles in speed. At the very least it will be $10 a month cheaper which is a much better deal then really getting hung up on getting them to refund me the remaining $12 they owe me for long distance I never signed up for.

Well tonight RAW took back that Dyson. For the whole week it sat in the box unopened while we just looked at it. Something was keeping us from opening it and checking it out.

There was.

It was the Kohl's catalog that came with 20% coupon. So we went up there and bought the Dyson for $320 instead, for a savings for $60.

It didn't take us long to open up the Dyson from Kohls and suck up the room. RAW is really impressed and that is what matters ;-)

The new carpet came on Monday and it is nice! Why didn't we do this 10 years ago. Of course if we did that carpet would probably look bad now.

I bought some more Elliott Smith music. I will listen to Roman Candle for awhile and go back and get the last album that I want.

I have been struggling trying to keep up with my magazine reading. For the new year I will not renew most of them and then the stress to read them will go away. The other day I go to the library and check out 4 freaking self help books. Uh, when do I think I will find the time to read them? For some reason when I acccidently hit that area of the library I felt it was some kind of message that I found them so I had to check them out LOL. Check out these titles:
ð Woman Who Think Too Much
ð A Whole New Mind (Moving from the Informational age to the Conceptual Age)
ð How to Think Like Leonardo da Vinci
ð Talking with Confidencce for the Painfully Shy

I was really in there looking for books on creativity and books on how to focus which is my issue de jour.

Tonight we had our teacher conference on Hollace. The teacher had no qualms on Hollace's academics. She is too slow on her timed math facts so she rated low on those on her report card. The teacher is concerned about her shutting down and going to tears too easily. And maybe a little concerned about the kiwi obsession. And she apparently had an incident with her pencil where she was frustrated and started stabbing her book with it. It is escaping me right now what else she said. We will set up some time to meet the counselor who by the way is who moved into Haley's old house.

This weekend me and Hollace went up to Sheboygan to see all the family that has relocated up there. Not a good weekend to go since Shelby had his reserve weekend and his mom was in town so we didn't see much of Pam and family.

RAW who was planning on going backed out at the last minute since the 3 days he had to put in the small amount of tiling in before the carpeting came wasn't enough. Also he was turned off by the fact that I was planning on staying the night.

First of all I am thrilled that the trip up there now takes 1:55. Much improved from the 2:45 it took before they moved not to mention the 8 hours to get to Pam's.

As usual, didn't see much of Hollace until it was time to go home. Her and Emma were inseperable. Three year old Mac was a little shy when I got there clinging to Cindy's leg but quickly realized I was the cool technology aunty and wanted me to show him the videos on my computer and to always be taking pictures of him so he could scroll fast through them on the camera. Three year old Josh was his typical "don't look at me" self. Five year old Phil was thrilled that I was able to visit his new place and meet his cat. He talked my head off and showed me everything he owns. The three twelve year olds (Sarah, Will and Shawn) were the same. Sarah is getting tall. She had her nose in a book for the most part of the weekend. Will wanted me to fire up Garage Band on the computer so he could work on the song he started July 4th week. Shawn didn't express interest in Garage Band until the next day and we never got around to it. I felt bad when I realized that. The two fourteen year olds (Jeff and Read) were well 14. They were both getting ready to play in the band for the play. Jeff looked so debonair dressed all in black. Read doesn't interact with me or say anything to me at all.

When we got back from up there I was disappointed to see no tile on the floor yet. I guess he was waiting for the primer to dry. Anyway, the little cheapo on clearance vacuum he bought a year or two ago finally bit the dust, literally, on the eve of the new carpet coming in. Someone on BYB mentioned that some Targets had pink Dysons on clearance for $200. So RAW when and checked on it and came home with a $375 yellow one. Ok