Seriously if I really want to focus and concentrate on something specific, why do I load up my Kindle and iBooks with lots of books to read? When was I planning on reading them let alone do all the tutorials I want to do and learn 3d. When I have the time do I read any? Or learn something? Or do something creative? Nope, I get on Facebook like I have a nervous tick.
I guess this all applies to my eating too…. Just to show you how easy I go off track. Right after I wrote that eating sentence, I had an urge to turn on the TV and put on Netflix to watch one of those scary food supply movies (Food Inc, Forks Over Knives, Food Matters, Fat Heads, etc). I almost stopped what I was writing just now and turned my attention to the TV. Seriously.
Back to the eating thought if I can even remember where I was going with it. Uh, yeah, ah, I know I need to lose 120 lbs but for some reason I keep forgetting and eating with reckless abandon adding to my size. I am now officially the biggest ever, congratulations me! Ug.
This week I tried to take a picture of myself to show how long my hair had gotten….off track I went again, this time was for me to learn meditation so I can focus……….oh, I have 3 emails I haven’t read yet….oh a reply on Twitter from Kelly, got to reply back…..oh hi Cloudy, what are you getting into?….What was I saying again?
Oh yes the self portrait. I was having a hard time trying to take one of those magical photos where I don’t think I look like I have a weight problem–remember I am fooled easy enough and am convinced no one else just looking at my photo can tell, will they ever be surprised when they see me in person! My face in the photo was looking older and fatter then I am use to shooting. I finally shot something acceptable and posted it on Facebook with the preface that I am old and fat (which I am, but the point being I couldn’t fake it enough in the photo and felt compelled to share).
I got the nicest of comments telling me I wasn’t fat and old and that I was pretty. I was embarrassed. I should of left that fat and old comment in my head and not verbalized that to all my peeps on FB. I got my hair cut the next day, 4″.
That night still styled by the hairdresser, I go to shoot myself with the new do. I had an easier time, nice pointy chin instead of a double one (trying to get all that hair in the shot the night before was what was tripping me up). Again lots of comments and Likes. Aww geez folks, thanks but now I feel like I am one of those attention seeking bimbos but people wanted to see the final result. Hmmm, I thought I had a point or a stronger conclusion of this little story but I guess not. No matter, this whole little story is a derailment from what I came here to discuss….FOCUS.
Tonight out of the blue knowing I have 8 books, 4 magazines, 5 tutorial online videos (and 10 Word with Friends games, hey scratch that, doesn’t figure in the equasion) I put Netflix on and watch the very first episode of Mad Med because I couldn’t remember it. There ate 45 minutes of some good reading time. And why am I loading up on the reading, I just fall asleep anyway!
Tomorrow is a busy day. We are going to eMagination day camp open house to see if it is worth it to spend the mucho bucks to have them teach Hollace Flash. Then we rush to the library 45 minutes away for a class on drawing Manga faces. That class is 90 minutes long and I am already planning on finding a nice chair there and catch up on some reading. Or my sleep. I hope I don’t snore in the library.