chatter

I am patiently waiting for my new drapes and shears for the big picture window. When I ordered what I wanted at JCP, I also got the rings that go along. I had no idea how much and knew I was more than likely not getting a deal but I had her grab them. I can’t remember now how many rings she said I needed but looking at my order, I have 9 packs of 7 rings –63 rings. And I paid 61 freaking dollars on them! I could of swore I bought or needed 10 packs of them but like I said, I can’t remember what she said I needed.

Today I went to JoAnn Fabrics to buy some material to make curtains for the camper. They had a sale on drapiery hardware. There they had rings, 10 to a pack for $2.50. I bought 10 packs not remembering how many I needed. So now I have 100 rings for $25. Can you guess where I am going tomorrow?

Today I put up the new curtains in the bedroom and in the living room. Hmmm. In the bedroom because of the cat perch and the little bookcase near the window, they don’t flow nice but in general they look nice.

In the living room I underestimated how big that window was and my 48″ curtain rod was stretched to its capacity and that was after I punched a couple extra holes in the wall. I got sage green for that window. It is a lighter look then the bedroom’s heavy curtains. I like it but it is obvious I need to go back to Bed Bath and Beyond to get the window scarf. Unfortunately I am out of 20% coupons and I can’t justify buying them until I get one of those coupons so I can save $8.

And while I am sharing deals….

Grama wanted me to make her some return address labels. I have lots of frustration trying to print them on my own since they never line up so I looked on line. I found this nice place called Vista Prints. They had a deal for 140 labels for $1.99 with a $5 one time upload charge per custom artwork. I decided to order some for ourselves too. $14 total. Then I finally get around to ordering them. Then when I go to checkout all of a sudden my $1.99 deal is now $6. Apparently Vista Print don’t do email so I have to call. The woman said she couldn’t give me the original deal but had a better one. No custom artwork charge (saves $10), one set of labels for free and the other one at full price of $8. So the total is $8. Cool. The longer shipping was 3 weeks but I figured to spring for 2 week shipping and I got everything 3 days later. Cool.

Yesterday I was in a funk. I just wanted to stare aimlessly into space and didn’t want anyone to bug me. At work I was feeling totally inadequate. For lunch I ended up at the library so i could find a quiet place to sit that wasn’t at work or in a parkinglot so I could dump my negative brain onto paper.

I guess it worked because I got back to work and I felt a little better, not much but a little.

I decided I had to find that list of therapists I had but kept losing. I needed help. Give me the magic pill that makes me the engaging person I know I am way deep inside. It is all chemical so I am finally at a place where chemicals were my only hope.

At home I went back into stare mode. I let Hollace watch TV in the other room all evening. RAW was getting cranky over communication with his mom. Not good when both of us are cranky.

This morning I was fine. Work seemed to go good. It was Friday before a 3 day weekend and all was good with the world.

Then it occurred to me that my funk on Thursday was one of my good ole fashion hormonal episodes. I hadn’t had one for so long I forgot about them.

That is all.

Dang, it looks like every 5 years a pregnant raccoon figures out a way into our attic to have her babies. I don’t know if the one up there right now is having or had babies. I sure hope not.

Here is a little video clip I took 5 years ago of a three year old Hollace meeting the baby that was finally old enough to be evicted

Yesterday was Girl Scouts for Hollace. For the most part I was under the impression that things were fine there with Hollace’s alleged Aspergers but as I was driving over there to pick her up, I was thinking that the leaders don’t like Hollace because she is a little off and not like the other girls though no one gave me any indication to think that. I pull in and the co-leader greeted me out in the yard. She wanted to talk to me about Hollace.

Apparently Hollace crys at every meeting at some point and in one case, the whole meeting. Allison, the co-leader, said sometime they ignore her when she does this but was worried that Hollace comes home and reports back that they are mean to her when they aren’t. She figured since I keep bringing her back Hollace isn’t saying anything. I ask Hollace how Brownies were and she said loud. She doesn’t like it anymore cause it is too loud.

Crying is something Hollace always seems to do when out and about and away from me and I guess one of my big clues that something is amiss. Every dang birthday party she has gone to previously (she hasn’t been to a birthday party since starting this school, they make it hard to invite kids but still I wonder about this) she has one crying melt down.

I got to call ASAP and get her help, this is breaking my heart.

Last week when the temperatures reached 90 I decided to summer-ize the beds. Hollace still had her flannel sheets on her bed and was roasting and our bed still had it heavy down comforter.

As soon as I do this it gets colder and while I think the change is fine, RAW and Hollace are cold. Oh waa, waa. You just can’t please those guys.

Last night, RAW brings in the blanket from the living room to suppliment our summer conforter. I don’t want that cat hairy thing on the bed so I grab the king size velour blanket that I kept in the closet in a oversized Target bag. I had already taken off my glasses when I decided to get the blanket and go to throw it on the bed when RAW screamed shake that thing out first! I couldn’t really see what was going on since I am blind without my glasses but I did see a freaking huge dead bug (3/4″) on the bed. RAW is totally skeeved out as am I. I go to hide while RAW grabs the vaccuum to suck up the bugS. I guess there were more than one but I don’t really want to know details now and am now very thankful that I don’t have my glasses on to see. Dang, what is living and dying in my closet? Today I go out and get me some of those giaganic Ziplock bags for that blanket, that is after it gets washed.

Lets see, last weeks tally was
$350 for the window treatment for the big bay window.
$70 for the stepping stone landscaping.
RAW bought me the cordless drill for Mother’s Day.

Still haven’t bought the ceiling fan yet or sign Hollace up for summer camp. I buy the new tires tomorrow.

Now my beloved Canon 20D camera appears to have bit the dust. I am totally lost now. Do I try to get it repaired or buy a new camera body? I have no idea now much to get it fixed is I even can. I know for a new body we are talking about $1,000. Gulp

Today I went to Chicago for an Adobe sell fest. They got their new software suites out and of course the only outcome of going to one of these is this wanting for their new stuff.

May 7th was the first payment for the new camper (which btw, we took on a dry run and ran it dry. RAW thinks he might of burned out the water heater). On that day I realized that I didn’t set up auto withdrawl for the payments so I scrambled to make a payment. Then a few days later I noticed that it was already set so my first payment was really two payments. What a bonehead.

Money should be flying out left and right for awhile around here. I have to get new tires for the Subaru next week. I got 70k miles on 80k tires. I hope to keep the car for another 2 years and I average 16k a year on it so I better get the tires now so I can enjoy them now.

Oh, oh, oh. RAW sold the 20 year old 5th Avenue yesterday. There is this lady we always see walking her dog who never smiles or says hi, she seen it parked in our yard where RAW put it to sell the day before. Her 17 year old son is driving her new cool car so she bought it for him. Won’t he be in for a shock. She seemed pretty friendly while buying the car, she almost didn’t seem like the same woman walking the dog.

Tomorrow I am going to buy those darn drapes for the big bay window. I don’t know what I am getting but I am getting it anyway. God, that window is so ugly the way it is. And besides I got to get that taken care of before I go any make new curtains for the camper like I need to. This window is priority and I can’t let the camper curtains trump it.

Also this weekend I have to buy a cordless drill, ceiling fan for the bedroom, stepping stones for the side yard and register Hollace for summer camp if it isn’t too late. I keep forgetting.

This month is a 3 paycheck month which would of came in handy with all these little expenses but what comes with an extra paycheck, comes the property taxes and car insurance.

I think I have composed many a post for this blog in my head lately but for some reason I couldn’t bring myself to actually post. I have no idea what I have been meaning to say now.

This week went unbelievable fast. I swear it was Monday yesterday and now we are 30 minutes into Saturday.

This week I realized my state of mind has been on an even keel lately. I haven’t been in any funk or been overly paranoid. How I realized that is because I am approaching that state of mind right now LOL. This week my self confidence took a nose dive and there is no cause for it. I am starting to feel brain dead again. I went to a client meeting and contributed nothing to it and I am so sure that the AE is thinking that I am a slug, and why did I bother to invite her.

My main thing this week is my confidence. I have been fighting to make sure that the AEs don’t just tag me as the web person and yet a potential cool job came about and I just sat their silent while my co-workers talked about how they would do it. My silence just highlighted what the AE probably thinks about me, that I am just a blah web designer. Forget the cool animation stuff. At the time, my brain deadness couldn’t comprehend the scope of the project but I can do that shit.

So I went back to my thought plan that I need to find a therapist to help me get over myself

Hmmmm, I thought I had something to say but I guess I don’t. I am lacking confidence in what I do at work. I make these issues myself as I am sure they aren’t based on anything. I just feel like I am lacking in something and I don’t know how to fix it.

focus is what I need.

Maybe I will go look out how to achieve this. I am sure I can google something. I will blame everything on my diet and lack of exercize. But will that get me off my ass and eat better. Probably not.

There has to be something I am not thinking of. Quite honestly if I could just get off the brain sucking internet and do something else it should help. Maybe tomorrow I will go cold turkey. Nah probably not.

Right now I should start working on one of many projects I want to start but I don’t. Instead I go to Flickr or update an entry here talking about wasting time.

I wonder if I will ever start or do anything with the kiwi story videos I have big plans for. I use to think, sure I will eventually get to it but now I am not so sure. I think this one that has me procrastinating on this particular project is that it isn’t just starting and doing the project but doing it in a software I am not so familiar with, Motion. I was thinking the project would be perfect for me to get up to speed. Not if I am afraid of it though LOL.

On Friday after Mia canceled our lunch plans, I thought for a moment to going to Walmart to shop at lunch but then thought against it and decided to go to the forrest preserve to eat an Arby sandwich and take in some fresh air.

While there I started writing one of my favorite lists. The main one was planning out the long over due kiwi stories. I just recalled that the conclusions of those notes was for me to do the darn job in Flash and make a web version first then once I know what I want to do, then go into Motion for the video/DVD version. So there, that takes care of that excuse. Does that mean I will get to that project? That remains to be seen.

RAW’s 51st birthday is on Tuesday. Where is he tonight? He is sleeping in the back of his truck in some state park. RAW has a long history of wanting to be alone on his birthday but up until he left today at 5:00 pm, he had no idea what that was or if he was going. All week he tried to figure out where he was going. Sometime today he was finally coming to the conclusion that he probably won’t go anywhere that he didn’t really feel like it anymore. He was/is in a good mood about it. The goofy guy couldn’t make up his mind and would not commit to whether or not he was going anywhere. I told him just take off for a drive and let me know if you will be coming home or not.

He did and called a couple hours later to say he was camping. Good for him!

I think I will go and put RAW’s contacts into the new cell phone I got him for his birthday now.